Mental Notes & Random Musings

Some weeks aren’t as easy as others. Five years into the second century of my life, and I still overwork myself for short periods of time with the caveat being that I will rest and relax afterwards. This was a good plan as little as ten years ago, when I would give my all until my next vacation and then recover from giving it my all. This week was bad in that regard, as I was only on my third, twelve-hour day, and woke up to do my fourth twelve-hour day and was legitimately feeling exhausted. I was walking around in a sort of semi-consciousness working out my chest and arms and I couldn’t get to my usual set weights from Sunday. On Tuesday when I was working my back and shoulders, I had no deterioration from the previous Saturday. It was a dramatic drop off from second day and fourth day. It is one of the advantages of strength training six days a week, as I have a gauge for health step-backs.  Well, if we take diet into account, the twelve-hour days help me out a bit here because ...

There are pros and cons of absorbing yourself in unreality, assuming you drag yourself out of unreality. Many will argue that the online word of social media isn’t “unreality” but factually speaking for every honest representation online there are at least ten (generous) dishonest representation. Most people that are honest will also admit that they have had dishonest representations of themselves online, many like me will admit that our representations are fifty, fifty at best. Again, this is not something that makes people bad, it makes them normal, as from the days before there even was a World Wide Web among the internet, the news and genuine information online was about fifty percent and the fantasy and bullshit was the other fifty percent. It is what it is.  In my quest to genuinely exist, I am pulling back from the year of living vicariously online (again) and getting back into the existence in the real world. The one I wake up in, maintain my health in, go to work in, feed ...

The struggle is real, because the X system is both liberating and enslaving for most of the people that use it. For those of us that it is more carrot than stick, it is a lot more obvious than those that like carrots and sticks, and that is ok. I am not writing this, trying to change a single mind. I am writing this because as my theme always is, I existed and this is my existence, so I am explaining it. It is also my blog, so I am allowed to do that, and this also explains that too. I realized a while ago that X was paying you to make everything you do proprietary to X. What you post on X can get you a check if you build your base, get more people that pay for their X account, and mostly host your content on X. We all started noticing that YouTube videos posted on X would be deplatformed and not shown prominently, but stealing a video from YouTube and hosting it on X made it prominent and profitable. This happened for off-site hosted content like blogs or personal websites, as one b...

I woke up at 1:00 am on my birthday as I have had for the last several birthdays and then had a moment of reflection. I had this moment of reflection on my birthdays, but this one was different. I needed to delete my social media. This time was different and the same. Every time was different and the same, but this time was different and really the same. The first time I threw away all my social media, it was because I was so full of myself that I finally hated me as much as half my audience hated me. The second time was because my real life wasn’t matching my online life and trust me that there, is no way to live. The third was because of the whole online censorship that was going on at the request of the political party I wasn’t in line with. This time it is because of what I call “Same Hellscape, Different Landlord.” Now with that being said, my online presence is an X profile that is constantly in jeopardy, a Truth Social profile that I really don’t like and tumblr profile that nob...

I like that Lululemon has decided to advertise on the many streaming platforms that I watch, because their new ad campaign with 78-year-old fitness influencer Joan MacDonald is exactly what the world needs to see right now on streaming platforms. I may be a little biased in my opinions on this, as I turned 55 a couple of weeks ago, and I am a dedicated weightlifter, but it is also for the same reason many people my age should be. That day when I realized that I needed to change my life around, and that day when my father proved to me that it was the only thing I should have done for my own children.  If we go back 18 years ago, when I was existing loudly and proudly in the blogosphere, I was a product of my own poor decision-making skills. I hurt my back at work, after yet another divorce, which then led to the denial of my part in both problems. Then when reality set in, I wallowed in self-pity until I was fat, dumb, and lying about being happy.   I also was a single fat...

Don’t let social media get to you, there isn’t a single part of it that is real life, and despite the outward appearance that “everyone is doing it” there is a lot more going on outside of social media. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a lot of what I see around, and I have had various times in my life where I was enthralled with it. I’m just understanding what it is and is not and wanted to just take some time to remember that I as a human being have existed, and will continue to do so, until I don’t technically exist anymore. Now that the heavy part is out of the way, let me start existing. I was born and don’t really remember much of it. Like anyone else I have fleeting glimpses of things that happened in my single digit years, usually the embarrassing, or trivial, but they are a smaller portion of my existence at this point. I rode a big wheel, I played on slides that burned my ass in the summer, and I spun around on those carousels of death that anyone younger than 30 probably look at ...